First of 3 as TOTRW Celebrates International Women’s Month
Today is the first of three episodes in a row featuring Women Road Warriors in honor of International Women’s Month on Tales of the Road Warriors. My guest is Toby Lightman. In our brief talk we touched on another problem men never experience, the struggle to have a child. Though a man can share some of the emotional weight of this struggle, we can never know the physical and internal anguish that a woman experiences. Toby recently captured this in her song ‘Begin Again”. I had no idea what the song was about going into this conversation, so you’ll hear me getting woke in real time.
And – this is a direct quote from the International Women’s Development Website
“We celebrate all women, in all their diversities. We embrace their facets and intersections of faith, race, ethnicity, gender or sexual identity… or disability. We celebrate those who came before us, those who stand beside us now, and those who will come after.”
It’s a time to celebrate the achievements of women, whether social, political, economic or cultural.
Are men welcome too?
Of course! International Women’s Day is a time for everyone, regardless of gender or gender identity, to celebrate the progress that women have made towards equality and remember how much further there is to go. Male allyship, especially when men are prepared to use their privilege to support gender equality, is a welcome amplification of women’s voices. And remember, feminism isn’t just about improving the lives of women, it’s about dismantling ALL damaging gender stereotypes and roles. Achieving gender equality should be as important for men as it is for women.
Recently, I was thinking back to when I was a kid, and another boy asked me jokingly, “Are you a girl?” I said No. He replied “Doesn’t that take a load off your chest?” I was thinking that – Truth be told, it takes a load of my mind and shoulders. I was talking to a female friend of mine recently about how men are completely in the dark about the vast difference in perspectives and problems that we have.
First of all, as a man, when I leave work, or the store, or walking back to my car after leaving a restaurant or bar, I rarely if ever look over my shoulder to see if if someone is following me. I don’t have to worry that I’m wearing something that sends a message that I want you to put your hands on me. And in fact, most men would probably welcome it if an attractive female at work gave you back rub without asking. But, never stop to think if unwelcome touching is appropriate where women are concerned.
I was just talking to a female friend of mine who pointed out another thing that’s common with women in the work place… attribution.
In the workplace, it plays out like this… There’s a room full of men and one or two women in a meeting. Everyone throwing out ideas for new products or policies and one of the gals will come up with a brilliant suggestion. Maybe multiple times for weeks. Or months.
Then one day, one of the boss, or maybe even one of the guys competing with her for a promotion, will make that same suggestion, And all the other guys will nod there heads and agree that it’s pure genius. And the female employee will be like, “I’ve been saying that for months!”
Yes, it happens to men, too. But more often than not, it’s a man’s world. So, men, just be cognizant of your privilege and don’t abuse.
Unfortunately, this is a very brief interview because of operator error. Yeah… I screwed up. I’ll go into more detail later. Let’s just jump into it with Toby, shall we?
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And here’s where I have to say… “To be continued…”
There was enormous cloud cover and precipitation from my studio in Pennsylvania and Toby’s home in New York. The connection was poor that day, but I didn’t want to postpone. Maybe I should have. Anyway, we got disconnected three times and each time I had to hit the record again after we reconnected. I tried calling her, She tried calling me. And in the confusion I forgot to hit the record button the third time.
Which was the longest part of the conversation. Toby went into great detail about the night she opened for Prince. I didn’t get three quarters of it. The good news is, there will be a Part 2.
Unfortunately, due to the Corona Virus, many of her dates have been cancelled. I was planning to see her show in New Hope, which as I speak is tomorrow night. The upside is, maybe I’ll get to talk to her sooner. We’ll see. The important thing is we all do what we have to do to stay healthy, which includes distancing ourselves from each other physically. Expect to see an upswing in virtual online concerts. Including Toby Lightman. She’s doing a free Facebook live concert tonight at 8:30 EST. This is Friday, March 13, 2020, so if your hearing this afterward – you missed it. But you can get updates on the official Toby Lightman Facebook page
https://www.facebook.com/tobylightman/
Please like, share and leave comments on the show notes page at tales of the road warriors.com/toby-lightman
Okay, I think that covers it. Car’s warmed up… Yeah – I’m going for a drive!
Toby Lightman Links and Resources
Toby Lightman Official Website
More from the International Women’s Development Website, here are some eye-opening statistics…
87,000 women are killed every year just because they are women. Of those, 50,000 are killed by their male partners or family members – and those are only the deaths we know about
111 countries have no repercussions for husbands who rape their wife
2.7 billion women are legally restricted from having the same choice of jobs as men
45 countries do not have specific laws against domestic violence
35% of women globally have experienced sexual or physical violence.
